Control the Controllables: Reclaim Your Energy and Find Peace
Have you ever spiraled into frustration trying to predict someone else’s reaction? Or exhausted yourself overanalyzing something that already happened? You’re not alone - we all do it. But the truth is, a lot of our stress and overwhelm comes from focusing on things we can’t actually control.
The good news? There’s a mindset shift that can lighten the emotional load and give you back your energy. It’s called controlling the controllables and it’s more powerful than it sounds.
What Does It Mean to “Control the Controllables”?
Controlling the controllables means choosing to focus your time, energy, and attention on what’s within your influence, and learning to let go of what isn’t.
When life feels chaotic, uncertain, or overwhelming, this mindset grounds you. It draws a clear boundary between what deserves your energy and what doesn’t.
🚫 Things You Cannot Control
Other people’s opinions, expectations, or judgments
How someone reacts to your boundaries or honesty
Their emotional state, tone, or willingness to listen
Past mistakes or regrets
The economy or job market
Delays, traffic, or the weather
Whether someone texts back or shows up
Global events or breaking news
How fast others succeed or progress
You can twist yourself in knots trying to fix, predict, or perfect these things - but you’ll burn out in the process. The reality is, you are not responsible for what isn’t yours to carry.
✅ Things You Can Control
Your effort and attitude
How you treat yourself and others
The boundaries you set and how you uphold them
Your morning routine or sleep habits
How you respond to challenges or feedback
What you consume (media, food, environment)
The goals you set and the small steps you take toward them
Your breath, your rest, your pauses
This is your power zone. When you focus here, you start to feel more grounded, clear, and resilient. You move from reactive to intentional.
Why This Shift Matters
When you constantly chase control over external things, your nervous system stays in survival mode. You’re more anxious, exhausted, and emotionally drained.
But when you redirect your focus to your own actions, mindset, and responses, everything changes.
✨ You start to feel lighter.
✨ You stop over-functioning in relationships.
✨ You make clearer decisions.
✨ You feel more peaceful not because everything is perfect, but because you’ve stopped fighting battles that aren’t yours.
Real-Life Example
Let’s say you’re in a tough workplace dynamic. A teammate is passive-aggressive, and your manager doesn’t intervene.
You can’t control:
How your teammate speaks to you
Whether your manager takes action
How others perceive the situation
You can control:
How you document and advocate for yourself
The tone and clarity of your communication
Your stress management outside of work
Whether you set boundaries or explore new opportunities
Focusing on your lane doesn’t mean avoiding hard truths it means you use your energy where it has the most impact.
Final Thoughts: The Freedom of Letting Go
You don’t have to control everything to feel safe.
You don’t have to fix everything to be worthy.
And you definitely don’t need to carry the weight of what isn’t yours.
Letting go of what you can’t control isn’t giving up - it’s growing up. It’s choosing peace over perfection. Clarity over chaos. And presence over pressure.
So next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask yourself:
“Is this in my control?”
If yes - take action.
If no - let it go.
You deserve to move through life with more ease, more grace, and more space to breathe. Start by focusing only on what’s truly yours to hold.
